morrowlife

Here are Shannon, Katie, and Belle striking an incredibly cute pose on my 46th birthday. Looks like Shannon was taking her usual birthday photos as they lavished gifts on me. Great Art courtesy of my old Minolta camera, taken in our family room in Virginia, and part of my famous Shannon and Event series.

Today was my mom’s last day here. We take her to the airport at about noon tomorrow. I’ve really enjoyed her visit, but she needs to get home so she can get ready to visit Tony in Florida in another week.

We went and visited downtown Boulder City and downtown Henderson this afternoon. Had lunch at a place in Boulder City that Guy Fieri had featured in his TV show. The food was good. The downtowns weren’t all that much.

Not a lot of other news. I haven’t forgotten about Shannon, of course. I think about her constantly. I still have frequent moments thinking “I can’t wait to show/tell this to Shannon!” Then, immediately: “Crap.” That’s my old life. I miss my old life. I miss my wife. I miss my love. I miss my happiness. But that life, that wife, that love, and that happiness are in the past. My new happiness is in the future.

I keep telling myself that. But it’s really hard to turn and face the future and start to move forward. I want to keep looking back and remembering and feeling, even if just for a brief moment, how I felt before. So much is unchanged – my surroundings, my possessions, my work, my feelings, my emotions, myself. But those things need to be the building blocks of my new life. I want my new life. I do. But I still want my old life even more, I think. That can’t be, so I must learn to let that go. How, Loyal Readers? How?

Shannon was in my dreams last night. It wasn’t anything unusual or significant – we were just living life. She was getting a new car and I was trying to decide whether to keep her old one for myself. It was nice. I suspect those dreams will fade with time. I don’t want them to.

And I need to quit for tonight. I’ll leave my Loyal Readers with this shocking food violence news: diner chainsaw attack!

See you tomorrow.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 20th, 2014 at 11:18 pm and is filed under event, shannon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.