One month passes

Just a note on this Sunday evening.

It’s been four weeks since Shannon died. It’s starting to feel like forever, and yet I can still feel how I felt when we were together. I still imagine that she’ll be home at any minute. I still remember how she felt, how she sounded, how much we loved each other. I just can’t believe she’s gone. I miss her so, so much. I don’t know how to go on without her. I am completely, utterly brokenhearted.

There are nice people all over this cruise ship. Several of them have chatted with me and been nice to me. But I still feel completely alone. And I feel like I’m doomed to being alone for the rest of my life.

But I wanted this post to be about Shannon. She was the kindest, most loving wife and mother, the most beautiful woman, the sweetest companion, and the most hard-working person I have ever known. She dedicated her entire life to loving me, and she never wavered and she never gave up on me, no matter how difficult I was. She taught our children everything they know and made them the wonderful, happy people they are today. Her influence made people better and happier everywhere we lived. She made me better and happier every day and in every way for more than 35 years. She taught me everything. She taught me how to love. The only thing she didn’t teach me was how to live without her. That’s something I have to learn for myself.

No happy ending today. Shannon, I love you. I miss you. I need you. Farewell, my darling wife, my wonderful companion, my beautiful partner. Farewell.

2 Responses to “One month passes”

  1. katie Says:

    We will never be the same without her. We’ll go on, but it will be different. Never the same. It hurts to miss someone this much.

  2. Paul Says:

    I’ve had a couple of very hard days recently too. I still think “Oh! I’ll pick up the phone and call Mom!”. It hurts so much that I can’t do that. Like you, Dad, I miss the sweet sound of her voice and her constant unconditional love for everyone. I miss everything about her. But I know that she loved all of us so much and she wants us to be happy, so I’m trying as hard as I can. Love you tons, Dad!

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