morrowlife

Here’s Shannon hosting Paul and Melissa’s wedding in our house in Virginia. What a great day that was. And doesn’t Shannon look beautiful? The bride was also beautiful, incidentally. Also talented, capable, and kind. Paul married very well. But for my money, the real star is right here in this picture. Slightly fuzzy Great Art courtesy of my good old Minolta camera, taken by Mark, and part of my famous Shannon and Event series.

As predicted this morning yesterday, we had blackened tilapia, steamed vegetables, and tossed salad for dinner tonight. It was delicious! Even Mark loved it. Blackened tilapia is really easy to make, as it turns out. I have no plans for tomorrow yet, but I’m leaning towards either something that will use a large chicken breast I have in the freezer or spaghetti. Decisions, decisions.

No dinner plans need to be made for Saturday. Cruise time!

Of course, I’ll need to get to the store right after I get home because I don’t think we’ll have all that much left to eat by then. I really need to figure out what food we actually have around here and then figure out how to cook it. So much to think of and to figure out.

I really missed Shannon this evening. I was so excited about making an actual good meal that I was dying to tell her about it. She would have been so proud of me and my little minor accomplishment. She would have lavished praise on me, and she would have meant it. She was the only person I’ve ever had that I could talk to. She was my only friend, really. She was the only person welcome into my personal space, both physically and emotionally. I love the kids and I love my brothers and sisters and I can talk to any of them, of course, but Shannon was my confidant. I miss her. I want her back. I just don’t know how to live without her.

But I will live without her. I won’t get her back, but I will go on. My new life is underway. It’s okay to keep missing her. But I won’t get her back.

Okay, that’s it for that subject for now. Cruise preparations continue at a leisurely pace. I did a bit of thinking about weather this morning. It’s supposed to be beautiful in Mexico the whole time we’re there, but Los Angeles is predicted to have some pretty strong rain with high surf warnings on Saturday. So I ran over to Walgreen’s and got some Dramamine. Just in case the going gets a bit rough that first day or so. Don’t want to have to miss my evening chocolate melting cake that first night.

Shannon’s death certificates arrived today. I got 12 copies. That was probably way more than I needed, but I was advised to get several. Everybody seems to need one. I’ve already sent one off to my former employer in order to get my retirement income raised to the “no survivor benefit” level. I also sent one to our life insurance company. I’ll also need another one for the Social Security people. I think our bank will need one too. That leaves me with eight spares. Yeah, I think I got more than I needed.

And I’ll leave my Loyal Readers with this exciting Morrowlife Employment Agency job opportunity: drug-addled pigeon!

See you tomorrow.

Here’s my family all together on New Year’s Eve 2003. Lots of things have changed for all of us since then – we’re all ten years older, for one. You can see the huge difference in the younger kids especially. Shannon’s gone, of course. We’re spread out across the country. But lots of things are still the same. We still love each other and have an incredible bond. That will never change. Great Art courtesy of my old Minolta camera, taken at our home in Virginia by parties unknown (maybe I took it using the timer), and part of my famous Shannon series.

Wonders of WordPress today. I was just too tired last night when it was time to write. So I’m faking it.

Not a lot went on today. Oh – I actually did a little bit of work! I had some modifications to make to the videos found on the PhotoDoc website. Needed to group them by function. Got that done. Yea for me. There’s still a ton more to do.

I’ve been wondering lately if I should even be bothering to work. I think I have enough money to live on, although I’m not sure the amount is future-proof. That kind of depends on the rate of inflation in the future, I guess. The issue is that I’m not feeling incredibly motivated. I’m inclined to believe it’s because of recent events, but I just don’t know. I guess I ought to let some more water run under the bridge before I decide to pull the plug. I also really need to decide where to channel my efforts. I already have too many projects in the works.

Mark and I went grocery shopping yesterday to buy food for him to eat while I’m gone. We didn’t get all that much food. Don’t starve, Mark!

I don’t think he will. There’s plenty of cereal and milk.

I made a kind of lame dinner tonight – cooked a pound of ground turkey and added some corn. Then I made some mole (well, I boiled some water and added pre-made mole sauce) and added it to the concoction. I heated up some too-old tortillas and we made tacos. It was good! But I really need to start planning better. Thursday’s plan: tilapia, steamed vegetables, and tossed salad. I have a bunch of tilapia and would like to use it. Need to find a blackened tilapia recipe.

And I really need to get to work, so I’ll end this very brief post with this exciting Morrowlife Employment Agency job opportunity: world’s fluffiest bunny!

See you tomorrow.

Here’s my family on Shannon’s and my sixth anniversary – December 28, 1984. Katie was nearly five years old and Paul was just a little more than a year old. I have no idea where we were on that day, but we may have been in Southern California for the holidays. My memory is pretty vague, but I managed to schedule my interview with General Dynamics in San Diego sometime in that time frame. We lived in Texas in 1984, where I was finishing school at Texas A&M University. So this could be somewhere in Texas. Or it could be somewhere else. I’m pretty sure we weren’t in Michigan, though. No jackets. Great Art courtesy of an unknown party, recently featured on my Facebook page, and part of my famous Shannon series.

I love these pictures of Shannon. I don’t ever want to stop looking at them.

Got a haircut today. I had no idea where to go – Shannon had cut my hair for years before she got sick and she continued to cut it even when we were home in Las Vegas last year. I had a decent barber shop in Duarte, but not here. So I looked around a little and found a place nearby called Sport Clips. It’s a chain, of course, but it was a decent haircut. Since it was my first visit, they upgraded me to the Double MVP haircut. I liked the hot towel. Also the shoulder massage. Also the shampoo. The prices are a bit high and they do seem just a bit too anxious to up-sell there, but I think I’ll probably go back.

I have very bushy hair. I feel SO much better after I get a haircut. The lady who cut my hair told me she has a lot of customers who would love to have my bushy hair problem. So I have that going for me.

I went to the store to get a new swimsuit for the cruise. Found two I like, so I bought them both. Now I don’t need to buy any more swimsuits for a few years. Shopping is easy!

Although I did have to try on a few sizes. I had no idea what size I wear. Shannon has bought all my clothes for many years. I found the right size and came home. I had a look inside the waistband of one of my most recent pairs of jeans and found out what size pants I wear. Good information.

I feel so helpless. But I’m starting to learn. I could have done all this stuff before. But Shannon just took care of me. She just made my life easier in every way she could. She wanted to. She never stopped. I was so pampered, so loved, so cared for. I still feel it. I hope our children feel it too.

No work again today. I really need to get some stuff done. I’ll just try again tomorrow.

The cruise starts in 3 days. I can’t think of anything else I need to buy, other than maybe a little food for Mark to eat while I’m gone. Need to make my packing list, pack, fill the car, and go!

Our homeowners’ association notified me today that they’re naming the little park in our neighborhood the Shannon Morrow Community Park. They’re making a plaque and having a dedication ceremony sometime soon. They’re also sponsoring a team at this year’s Light the Night walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, also named in honor of Shannon. She was on the association board of directors. I’m overwhelmed at their generosity and concern for Shannon. Mark and I have signed up for the walk in November and it looks like Katie and Chris might be there with us. Very touching.

And that’s it for today. I’ll leave my Loyal Readers with this shocking food violence news: mackerel battering!

See you tomorrow.

Here are Shannon and me right at the start – sometime in April 1975. I think it may have been April 13, but I can’t guarantee it. She carried this picture around in her scriptures for many years, along with a picture of me taken at about the same time. Great Art courtesy of I have no idea who, featured a couple days ago on my Facebook account, taken on the balcony of Shannon’s building in Heritage Halls at BYU on a Sunday afternoon soon after we met and fell in love, and part of my famous Shannon series.

Oh, how that picture brings back some wonderful feelings. I love it.

Our weekend was okay. I found some more of Shannon’s personal things in the garage, so I spent some time looking through them. There were a bunch of the kids’ school papers and letters to her – all of them as sweet as could be. There were also a bunch of papers her dad had given her; I believe the purpose was to have Shannon (or me!) scan them all in and share them with the family. I gave all of them to Melanie on Saturday. There were also a few of Shannon’s journals. I spent some time reading them. She was such an intelligent, wonderful person. Melanie borrowed the journals for a while so she can read them too.

Speaking of which, I found yet a few more of Shannon’s journals tonight. I read just a few pages from a couple of them. It’s to late to read more tonight. I’ll read them from cover to cover later and feel close to her all over again.

Speaking of which, I figured out how to copy Shannon’s old voicemail messages onto my computer today. There are twenty of them, dating back to 2011. I’ve mentioned before how badly I wanted to be able to remember her voice. Now I have it. The messages are all mundane, but they’re precious to me.

Speaking of which, I went through Shannon’s computer today and copied all her photos and other documents to another hard drive. There weren’t very many pictures of Shannon on the computer, but there were a lot of pictures of me. That’s fair – I have tons of pictures of her on my computer and relatively few of myself. Such is the nature of photographs. I also found a ton of pictures of Mia and our kids, which is absolutely great. There were also a bunch of documents she wrote, of course. I have a lot of material to read and comfort me.

I’m planning on repurposing Shannon’s computer as the household server. The old Macbook currently doing that job is just a little too underpowered. I don’t think she’d mind.

I made reservations for my excursions on next week’s cruise. In Cabo, I’m going scuba diving the first day and then going to a nearby resort to hang out at the beach and pool the second day. In Puerto Vallarta, I’m going on a sundown horseback ride and dinner outing. I’m looking forward to trying all that stuff out.

Didn’t get any real work done today, even though I planned for this to be my first full-time workday. Got too involved in looking through Shannon’s things. I did manage to pay the bills today, which is something. I’ll try working again tomorrow. There’s lots to do.

And that’s it for tonight. I’ll leave my Loyal Readers with this exciting Morrowlife Employment Agency job opportunity: drug-smuggling cat!

See you tomorrow.

Here are Shannon, Andy, and Mark in the dining area (mess hall?) of a WWII-era submarine in Baltimore. Great Art courtesy of my good old Minolta camera, taken during our holiday trip to Baltimore that year, and part of my famous Shannon, Machinery, and Vacation series.

My mom went home today. We had a very nice visit and she really helped me over some very large humps. More humps to go, of course, but she was here during a very difficult time. Thanks, Mom.

Mark and I had a quiet day. We stayed inside and pretty much relaxed. Had stuff from the freezer for dinner – not much excitement there, but it was fine.

I had a fairly long conversation with my PhotoDoc partner John this evening. His speech at the AAFS conference was today, and the response was excellent! He had several people come up to him after the speech and ask him how to get a copy of our software. We have it available for download as a demo, but I still haven’t set up the payment system for it. Need to get that accomplished this weekend.

My brothers and sisters got together and sent us a bunch of frozen meals! They arrived today. It all looks great! Thanks so much, brothers and sisters! Mark and I will get a lot of mileage out of that excellent stuff.

And now we come to what might be my best idea of the day or possibly my worst idea of the day. I was going through my emails today (including all the numerous emails directed to Shannon – I’m working on getting her various subscriptions undone) and I saw one from Carnival Cruise Lines. They’ve suffered a bit of bad PR in recent years, and the deals seem pretty good right now. I signed up for one leaving at the beginning of March and spending a week on the Mexican Riviera. Well, it spends a few days at sea, but there are two days in Cabo San Lucas and one day in Puerto Vallarta. The price was quite reasonable, and they’re not even charging me extra for occupying a cabin by myself.

I’m still trying to decide whether this is a good idea or not. I’ve been on a bunch of memorable cruises with Shannon, including one to the Mexican Riviera four years ago this month, and I’m very worried  that being on a ship by myself and going places Shannon and I visited before will be too depressing for words. Even if that doesn’t happen, I’m worried being on a cruise by myself will be boring. Could happen. Especially if I can’t convince myself to get out of the cabin, be with people, and even – horrors! – make a friend or two.

Things in favor of going: I’ve always loved cruising, it may be really good for me to get away and think and be alone, I haven’t been on a real vacation since before Shannon got sick, and I really want to get my new life started.

Should I wait a bit longer? Maybe. I don’t know. Doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve already paid for the trip. I’m going. I asked both my sisters and my daughter if they thought it was a good idea, and the vote was unanimous in the affirmative. Plus, it’s already paid for. Did I mention that? And the price was great. I’ll try to remember to take some pictures.

Note to house burglars – Mark will still be home. So you can just go ahead and burgle somebody else’s house.

Emotions rose to the surface only once today. I don’t call that either good or bad. It’s just what happened today. All I know is I miss Shannon.

And I’ll let that be all for today. I’ll leave my Loyal Readers with this exciting Morrowlife Employment Agency job opportunity: yawning chimp!

See you on Monday.